EMOTIONAL INVALIDATION
Emotional Invalidation is when a person is rejected or judged for their feelings, opinions, needs and personal experiences. This is a very serious but subtle form of emotional abuse. It can be especially distressful to someone who is sensitive by nature.
Emotional Invalidation leads to suppression of feelings and rejection of the self, which in turn leads to feelings/experiences characterized by sadness, fear and confusion. People who were emotionally invalidated as children may suffer from self-esteem/self-worth issues as adults.
Additionally, emotional invalidation by others makes self acceptance particularly hard and can cause much confusion in the psyche which may be a strong catalyst for the onset and/or continuation of depression, anxiety and depersonalization.
How is Emotional Invalidation Connected to Depersonalization?
Emotional Invalidation can lead to depersonalization due to the severity of the emotional turmoil it can cause an individual, especially if it has been happening for a long time (chronic).
Examples of Emotional Invalidation
1Verbal Invalidation
Many times, people don’t even realize they are being emotionally invalidated.
Why?
This is simply because, most times, its subtle, but the effects of it are severe and long-lasting.
An example of emotional invalidation would be a partner saying to you “Come on it’s not so bad” after you shared some deep feelings of sadness, hurt or disappointment. Even though they might be saying that to you because they want to make you feel better, they are in fact emotionally invalidating your feelings.
An example of what possibly could be a step towards Emotional Validation would be saying something like “I am sorry that you feel that way, is there anything I can do to make it better?” or “I do not know what you are experiencing right now but I am here, whatever you need from me as long as I can offer it, I will provide. Whenever you are ready, I am here for you”
As you validate others’ emotions it is important to always remember your own, balance your promises to others and the expectations you have for yourself
2Blaming
Emotional Invalidation can be in the form of blaming. An example would be when your partner or caregiver blames you for your own feelings.
They will say something like “you’re such a drama queen” or “you’re always crying about something” or “get over it” or “Stop being a baby!”
3Judging
Judging as a form of emotional invalidation sounds something like “why are you so sensitive?” or “you shouldn’t be so affected by this” or “Why can’t you be like …?” or “You’re too much to handle”
4Denying
Emotional invalidation by denying is telling the other person they aren’t feeling what they are feeling.
“You are exaggerating” or “You don’t know what you want” or “you’re not tired, you haven’t done anything all day” or “You are seeing/feeling/sensing your own things” or “That only happened in your world, crazy!” or “Your feelings are wrong,”
5Minimizing
This form of emotional invalidation makes one to compress their feelings, opinions and experiences as not worth focusing on or they are not as serious.
“Don’t worry, its not that bad. Don’t waste anymore time worrying about it” or “Others have it worse” or “You should be thankful that you only experienced or felt that not like…”
6Nonverbal Invalidation
Nonverbal emotional invalidation is when someone rolls their eyes at you, completely ignores you, walks away from you mid-conversation, taps their fingers while you are talking, says “uh huh” absentmindedly, interrupts you mid-sentence, or is preoccupied with other things instead of paying attention to you when you are sharing your thoughts and feelings.
7Nonverbal self-invalidation
Nonverbal self-invalidation is when you ignore your sensations/needs, feelings, opinions or experiences. This can happen if you have been continuously emotionally invalidated by either your spouse or your parents/family, you eventually, as well as others, start invalidating your own needs, opinions, feelings and experiences.
Examples would be: Not eating when hungry, not going to sleep when tired, denying your pain by saying to yourself “you’re fine, stop being such a baby” or denying your own happiness/joy by saying “what are you so happy about, stop it!” or “Others have it worse, I should stop feeling this way”
NOTE
An employer or client can also be sources of emotional invalidation in the professional world. All environments can and do cater to emotional invalidators and emotional validators. Also those who are apathetic, they are neither invalidators nor are they validators.
This is why Self Emotional Validation is of at most importance as early as from childhood and throughout adulthood.
Learning to Emotionally Validate Yourself
Never minimize your experiences, never compare your experiences and always give yourself the space to feel, to be. You don’t have to experience the worst in life to feel life, to be yourself. In good, bad and neutral times be yourself & allow yourself to be yourself.
Self emotional validation is very important to develop a healthy self-worth and being. Endeavoring to know and experience what you want and feel will help you develop into a secure and confident person. Use every breathe to learn more about yourself, your environment and the world. Gloriously Live both internally and externally.
Just because someone else doesn’t approve of your thoughts, needs, experiences and feelings doesn’t mean that they are not true, that they are not worth listening to.
Explore yourself, Be yourself; Listen to the voice inside, build your true self.
Life is a journey for the self, for the soul. So, take it traveler.
Be a Self-Adventurer, A Life Adventurer, A Soul Adventurer!
Have a look at the following Quotes on: (Open the 2nd https link, not the href one)
HAPPY SELF-VALIDATION
PS: Share some of your self-validation quotes or sayings in the comment section, looking forward to read them!
Photo Courtesy of Pinterest.
